Other Information

This page has info on...

• Starting Solids
• Allergies and Reflux
• Bathtime
• Things to do with Baby
• Training
• Toileting Your Baby
• Some Time-Saving Ideas
• The Secret to Joy

Starting Solids

Breastmilk is all a baby needs for the first 4 to 6 months. I have found they need solids when they start waking again in the night, after regularly sleeping through. Start once a day, with small amounts, and increase according to your baby's appetite. If he continually spits it out he is most likely not ready for solids yet. He will also be very interested in what the rest of the family is eating, and be keen to eat what is put in his mouth, not spitting it out. My babies all get constipated on Baby Rice. I no longer use it with the ones who have a constipation problem. I have gotten away with it with my other babies, when mixed with fruit or veges. Some of the other instant baby foods are all right, such as brown rice cereal, semolina and muesli (providing your baby is not intolerant to wheat or dairy). Mostly I use pureed fruit or vegetables, and home-prepared cereal. Buying a can of fruit and pureeing in the blender is much cheaper than buying cans of baby food. Simply freeze in meal sized bags for convenience. A porridge made from ground millet, rice, oats, semolina or tapioca is far more nutritious than a prepared cereal such as Weetbix or Rice Bubbles. Do not use cows' milk to cook or mix the food with. A baby should not have cows' milk before he is 12 months old. You are best to use expressed breastmilk, goats' milk if you have access to it, or rice milk (not soy). The babyfood in cans or jars are good for outings. When baby starts on meat I puree it up with the vegetables. By then I usually puree up whatever the rest of the family is eating. I freeze any extra in resealable bags for later use. If I am buying cans/jars I usually buy the ones with meat in, as they are no more expensive and it is an easy way to put more meat in baby’s diet. Raw foods are very good for you. Try to get some raw foods into baby's diet also. Raw fruit purees well and can be mixed with other foods. Raw leafy vegetables can be pureed in the blender with the rest of baby's fruit or vegetables. Cereal such as millet or oats (finely ground) can be soaked overnight and fed to baby raw. Avocado and banana are two wonderful raw foods that need no preparation.

If your baby gets constipated – solid poop, or difficulty passing a bowel motion - try adding flaxseed oil to their food. About 1 teaspoonful per feed was effective for my babies. It is normal for some babies to poop less often than once a day, some breastfed babies only go once a week! As long as it is soft and easy for them to pass, it is normal. It is equally normal for some babies to poop six or eight times a day!!

back to top

Allergies and Reflux

Several of my babies have had eczema as a result of being intolerant of cows' milk, (coming through my breastmilk), and two have suffered from reflux.

To cope with this I had to stop having cows' milk myself. We bought a goat to milk, and all the children except the last one have coped fine with goat's milk.

My second child had eczema particularly badly. Her skin would get a spotty rash all over, then look dry, and finally peel, looking nice and pink for a day before getting spotty all over again. She cleared up within days of my stopping consuming cows' milk. My oldest was just 16 months old at the time and had always had bad diaper rash. This went away altogether when he, too, went onto goat's milk.

My last baby had reflux very badly, so much so that he had a lot of extra mucous and used to choke on it, as well as copious spilling and power-vomiting. The doctor prescribed Gaviscon, which settled the symptoms. Then I read that it could be caused by an intolerance to the protein in milk, including goat milk. So I changed to rice milk, and within two weeks I was able to stop giving the medication altogether. He stopped vomiting, coughing and choking. He slept better, and his skin (which had been very spotty and had dry patches) became clear and soft. I decided to test him at 6 months just before I introduced solids, to see if he still reacted if I had goat milk. He did. The coughing, spilling and waking in the night all came back within two days of my having goat milk. (Note: The baby was totally breastfed, it was me who had to stop dairy products and drink rice milk. Rice milk is not a substitute for breastmilk. As I have no experience with bottle feeding you will need to consult your midwife or other health provider if your baby is reacting to his formula).

If your baby has an allergy to any foods you should also delay giving him other high-allergy foods. The most common allergy/intolerance is to cows' milk, next wheat, peanuts, fish, and eggs.

Symptoms can be:

• dry, flaky skin
• reflux
• colic
• failure to thrive (little weight gain)
• unexplained crying
• waking in the night
• a combination of any of these

If your baby suffers from any of these, try cutting milk out of your diet and watch what happens. If allergy or intolerance are the problem the symptoms should start to diminish after only a few days, but can take up to three weeks to disappear completely.

back to top

Bathtime

Because of my babies' tendency to dry skin I discovered that bathing them too often dried the skin more. I only bath my babies twice a week, using a damp muslin cloth on the face and wet wipes on the bottom in between baths whenever necessary. I do not use soap, but simply wash the baby in water. You can get liquid soaps, baby soap etc, but I do not like them, once again because of sensitive skin, also I was once told that soap will make baby's hair fall out. Just water is just fine. If baby's skin is dry add olive oil to the bath water, or wrap some oatmeal in a muslin cloth, tie it up and put it in the bath. The “milk” which drains out of it is very good for baby's skin (good for eczema too). Do not use baby oil. One of my babies got a nasty rash from a perfumed baby oil. I like Mustela newborn shampoo, which helps prevent cradle cap. Dry gently with a soft towel, or a muslin cloth inside a towel. Be especially vigilant about getting all the little creases clean and dry. The neck folds and under the arms, particularly, will get sore if left damp and can become infected and smelly. Be fussy about keeping these tricky little places dry at all times, between baths as well. Cornflour is the best thing for drying these areas properly. It is even better than baby powder. Keep some in a powder bottle, or in a jar you can reach into and get a pinch or two out with your fingers to rub onto baby's skin.

A lot of babies do not like to feel free and naked floating in a bath! To help baby feel secure put him close to the end of the bath so that he can push his little feet against the bath. A warm wet cloth on his tummy can help. Hold his hands close to his chest. When his arms suddenly fling out wide it frightens him. If he still screams when you bath him try wrapping him in a towel and putting him in to the bath with the towel around him. After two or three baths like this he will be used to it and able to go in with just a cloth on his tummy. One of my babies used to poop as soon as he got in the bath. It was very annoying having to empty it all out and start again. As soon as I discovered the regularity of this occurrence I put him on a bowl of warm water before he went into the bath, and caught the offending motion in the bowl.

back to top

Things to Do with Baby

Many babies are spending too much time upright through using jolly jumpers, swings, bouncinettes, walkers, and sitting in car seats. Babies need to spend most of their wake time (when not being held) on the floor. Some time each day on their tummies and some time on their backs. Include some time without a diaper – good for the skin and easier to kick the legs around. A swing or bouncinette has its uses, especially when baby is unsettled and you are busy trying to get a meal ready, etc. (And babies often seem to have a unsettled time at the end of the day). But do not put baby in this sort of equipment too often. A baby should not be left in the car seat any longer than is necessary. Too much stimulation is also bad for baby. He should not always need to be entertained, but will learn more and better if allowed to lie on the floor and investigate his world from there. He will learn to move his body, eventually to roll over, and from there to crawl and then to walk. This process is important in his brain development. Often children who have skipped one of these steps will have problems later on with talking, learning to read, etc.

Keep notes on what baby does when. I like to begin the notes during the pregnancy, because after two or three children you forget just how you felt, whether you had heartburn or headaches or carried high or low, etc, which is all interesting for a child later on. Then write some nice things about the birth, how you felt, how they looked, what they did, etc. After that jot down their milestones, cute things they say or do, and anything else you think they would be interested in reading about their lives. If you can, video them often, just little snippets, to catch their speech as well as how they look and what they do.

Introduce books early. You can borrow thick board books from the library to supplement your own supply. Prop them up beside baby on the floor, or look at the pictures together. Talk to baby all the time, tell him what you are doing and why. Point things out to him, name them and count them. Make his world rich with language, and give him a good headstart in talking and learning in general. Teach him some sign language to help him communicate. Sing and play gentle music for him. Classical music has been proven to help brain development. Get a video on baby massage and learn how to do this with him.

Take him for walks in the park, in the pram and later the stroller, or in the front or backpack. Take him into the garden with you, and sit him up on the kitchen bench where he can watch you work (make sure he cannot fall, and never leave him there alone). Give him toys he can rattle and bang together and chew.

back to top

Training

A key to child training is this “train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it”. I apply this to many and varied situations. If your baby is displaying a behaviour you don't want to continue, take steps to make sure it stops. Be proactive in training. Do not wait until he does something wrong and then correct him, but train him to do things right. For example, train him not to pull your hair, or open cupboards, to put his toys in the toybox, or come when you call him, or whatever you want him to do or not to do. First show him what you want him to do (or not do) 4 or 5 times. Then encourage him to repeat it himself, with lots of praise when he does it right. You will need to repeat the instruction several times in the days to come. Babies need repetition. If the outcome is always consistent, he will learn. Remember, though, that he is only little and do not expect too much of him. Taking the example of pulling your hair: When he grabs your hair, take hold of his hand and gently, calmly and firmly say “No – don't pull hair”, taking his hand down as you speak.. He will look at you with all his attention because of your tone of voice. He will immediately make another grab for your hair. If you're quick you can catch his hand before he gets your hair again. Repeat your voice command while taking his hand back down. Keep this up until he lays calmly in your arms and does not reach for your hair. Then give him lots of praise and cuddles. When he bites you while breastfeeding you can gently pinch his nose and say “No – don't bite”. Don't scream and frighten him. Be calm and consistent. He will soon associate biting with the uncomfortable sensation of having his nose pinched and will not continue in this behaviour. You can train him to use sign language when he wants down from the high chair. When he has finished his meal tap your finger on the tray and say “Down, please”. Do this every time before getting him down and he will soon begin to copy you and pat the tray with his hand when he wants to get down. Later he will learn to speak the words, but for now he is happy to be able to communicate with his hand.

Do train him to obey the first time you speak to him. If you always tell him twice, or remind him, you will end up nagging him, and eventually getting extremely frustrated with him. He will learn that you do not really mean it the first time, that he does not need to obey because you will tell him again anyway, and when you get to the frustration point, when you usually enforce obedience, he will then comply. It is all a matter of training, that is what you have taught him to do. Expect first time obedience, and he will learn to obey when you speak to him. You need to be consistent, which is so difficult to do. Depending on our mood, or how busy we are at the time, it is often easier to let things go, or to repeat a command, or to nag. It is an ongoing process, but something we all need to aim for as well as we can.

As he grows older, your child needs to learn that the world does not revolve around him. Do not give in to his every want. It is good for him to learn to share, to learn that other people have needs, and that there are consequences for his actions. The child who always gets his own way, and whose parents fuss over his every whim, will end up a very self-centred, demanding, and unpopular person. Help him learn to be brave, to help others, to clean up the messes he makes, to finish a task he has been given, to be polite, and you will end up with a child you can be proud to take anywhere.

Never, ever react in anger to your child. If your child makes you feel angry put him in his cot and leave the room. Wait until you are calm before you go back to him. If you feel overwhelmed or think you may harm your child, call someone and talk about how you feel. A baby or young child is completely vulnerable and needs your protection. Never shake a baby, as this can damage his brain, and even lead to death. Never inflict an injury on your child. Never shout at your child or say cruel things to him. He should always feel secure in your presence and trust you to care for him.

back to top

Toileting Your Baby

Up until my 6th baby they all wore cloth and disposable diapers. With number six I heard about “diaper-free” babies, and I was curious. I read a little about it, and decided to try it. I found out that I had to keep a close watch on the baby and whenever she wet or dirtied I should say a cue word, and put her on the toilet or pot. I should become familiar with her signals that she would make when she was about to go. Eventually she would come to associate the cue word with the action, and would go when I told her to, after noticing her signal. I found I just had not the time to watch her. Every time I stopped watching she would go, then when I came back it was too late. So I gave up.

Before I had number seven I read another book about it, and noticed that I could try putting him on the toilet as soon as he woke up, which is often a time that babies need to go. I read an article by another relaxed mother, who said she keeps diapers on her babies, but puts them on the toilet whenever they poop, saying the cue word at the same time. I determined to give it another try. When he was little it was just too much, although I did manage to catch a few poops, and say the cue words when I noticed him eliminating. At four months old I started holding him over the toilet when he woke up, and whenever I saw he was thinking about a poop. I had four successes the first day! He seemed to know that when I held him in that position he should try to eliminate, and would usually grunt and strain as soon as I held him over the toilet. Now, at 8 months, he goes on the toilet every morning, and during the day if I notice that he needs to go. It is not saving a whole lot of diapers, but I am hopeful that he will toilet train a lot earlier than my other babies (who were between 2 and 2 ½ years old).

The position I hold him in is with his back leaning against my body, with my hands around his thighs, so he is in a squatting position. From here I try to aim his elimination into the toilet. I plan on introducing the potty soon, but will keep him on the toilet also, as going in there helps to familiarise him with the place, and make him feel comfortable and normal about going there.

back to top

Some Time-saving Ideas

Try to prepare and freeze meals before the baby is born. Make double portions and freeze half for use later. It takes no longer to prepare in most cases, and is there when you have had a busy day with no time to cook. You could spend a whole day once a month cooking large amounts of food to freeze. Put some through the blender for baby food.

Keep some cooked beans and mince in the freezer for a quick feed of nachos.

Whenever you roast a chicken, roast two. Pull all the leftover meat off the bones and freeze in small ziplock bags. These are great mixed with a sauce such as sweet and sour, or butter chicken, and poured over rice. I also make a pizza which is my childrens' favourite. Cover the base with cranberry sauce, sprinkle with chicken, and lastly grated cheese. Mmmmm!

Breastfeed at mealtimes. With a tripillow under the baby, and a towel over the top in case I spill food on him, I normally eat this way.

Have a diaper bag packed and ready to go whenever you go out. You should have several diapers, wipes, toys, bibs, a change of clothes, and a jar of baby food if he is eating solids.

Keep a diary in a handy place to jot down any appointments and things you want to remind yourself. It saves losing the sheet of paper you wrote something on! You can write regular chores, such as paying bills once a month, and watering pot-plants once a week. If your baby develops allergies it is a good place to write down what he eats so you can check back if he has a reaction.

Throw away all your clothes that need ironing. From now on only buy clothes that do not need ironing. Honestly, I never iron!

At one stage when I had four children under 6 and they were all too little to help, we used to just sort the clothes and put them away unfolded. They always rummaged through the drawers and messed the clothes up anyway, so one day I decided just to put them straight in without folding. It lasted for a season, until they were big enough to help fold, and then that became one of our regular chores once more.

If you have older children they can be such a help. Write down all the chores that need doing daily, then assign them to each child, according to age and ability. Likewise with weekly chores. Set one day a week when the “weekly chores” will be done. Each child should be trained to keep their own room tidy. We have daily and weekly bedroom chores, too.

I hope to write an e-book on chores one day!

back to top

The Secret to Joy

The secret to being joyful is being thankful. It is that simple. When we are thankful for what we have we live in contentment. When we express our thankfulness we become joyful. Whenever you want to complain about something, instead, think of something you can be thankful for.

When you are thankful for a healthy, happy baby, when you think of others in far worse situations than you have ever been in, the joy and contentment flow in your heart.

Please visit the page entitled My Faith.

back to top

email Paulette: motheringadvice@gmail.com